Shock

And so it begins

[Drumrolls]

Actually at the onset nothing is obviously out of place

[Drumrolls fade]

The world seems normal, not a strand of the regular sequence seems disturbed

Then it starts [In my experience it is always a phone call] and we hear the words

Words that would haunt us for a lifetime and if not even beyond

[Drumrolls]

“He’s Not Breathing”

“I Will Kill You”

“This isn’t working: You’ve been unfair to me”

[Drumrolls fade]

Have been three phrases that have rocked my world in the recent past

Each unleashing a variety of emotions each very unique in its regard

But each geared at ultimately making me feel ALONE, VERY ALONE

 [Mournful dirge]

Then the torture starts: Physiological and Psychological

Feverish patterns dance across our weary cerebral thermostats

Fiendish imaginations and scenarios play out upon a now febrile mind

The tongue will taste no food: the body wants none; it feels like it deserves none

[Mournful dirge ends abruptly]

How dare the tummy be happy when the mind is run amok with questions: Why, What, When, How

Lethargy sets in, threatening to paralyze desire and cripple the will to go on

[Fast tempo music with rhythmic beats in the background]

And then it comes: the acknowledgement of  

The pain, the terror, the reality that things have forever changed

Nothing would remain the same anymore and truthfully nothing really does that

[Music fades]

Change is constant we are told, I only wish Change would give me a fair head start

So I might prepare: say my goodbyes, apologize, give one more hug, say one more kind word: basically giving me one last opportunity to make things right

Then maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much as it does

Who am I kidding? It would always hurt

[Soft Music starts in a swell]

But I trust the only unchanging factor in all of these to give me strength

Help me God: I heard one of those dreadful phrases…I heard it this Morning